- All Lace Everything
Boys love lace. Boys love everything about lace. They like how it leaves a bright red imprint on your skin when you've been wearing it for too long. They love how it reminds them of a slutty doily. They love how Jane Norman 2007 skater dress it all is. They just love it.
It's not difficult is it ladies? Either something is a bag (which by definition should be something capable of holding another thing in it) or it is a glorified phone case. Don't get us started on clutches... any trend that sounds like it should be an exercise in an abdominal workout doesn't appeal to us.
We dread the day that girls start thinking that everything fleshy and vaguely cylindrical needs to be adorned with cold, hard metal.
- Leggings as Trousers
Bums are great but we still can't get over how 'photorealistic body art' you look in those printed leggings. And we've had one too many incidents of walking behind people with Four Bum Syndrome (Basically a very exaggerated form of VPL where the panties cut into the flesh so much that a quadrupled bum is the result.)
They don't look like kittens? They don't sound like them either? Are they called kitten heels because they are smaller than regular heels? If they are then that's stupid.
Do you not find it sort of weird that some poor woman in Russia is wandering around without half a head of hair right now because you wanted to look more like Abbey Clancy? No? Just us? OK then.
- Those Weird Denim High Waisted Jeans Shorts
They make you look like a 1980s suburban American Mom who probably makes her kids wear anoraks and go to activities they aren't particularly interested in doing.