Instagrammers of the world, hang your heads in shame. If you thought posting a comprehensive, carefully composed photograph of your 'Valentine's Day Haul' was the kind of carefree, selfless sharing that social media has come to define, think again. Nobody else cares what you got for Valentine's Day - unless it's ridiculously cool and involves extreme snowboarding or fine whisky (the two coolest things in this world).
It was like this in 2013, and it was like this in 2014, and the fact that the general 'Valentine's Day Haul' has barely mutated is a damning indictment of a world that should be embracing the increasingly hyper-individualistic, customisable and innovative products now available in the marketplace. So do the world a favour and do not share the following....
1. The Michael Kors Ultimate Duo - Tote Bag and Rose Gold Watch
Don't even DARE hashtag #THEBOYDONEGOOD. No, he didn't, you dropped extremely explicit hints all year.2. Pandora Bracelet or Anything Swarovski
I guess these are slightly less cringe-inducing than H. Samuels, but come on, they're cut glass. Let's not treat this like an engagement ring.3. Tiffany's Necklace
I always envisage a dystopian future in which girls walk around with Tiffany necklaces like dog-tags, so they can be returned to their owner if they get lost.
4. Moonpig.com - anything.
Official destination of the Lazy Manfriend. This website provides totally inexcusably formulaic gifts that fall squarely under the dictionary definition of cliché.5. Ted Baker Body Butter
Essentially the same in formula as Wilko's body butter, but 10/10 for branding.