Why Girls Shouldn’t Take ‘Swimming Lessons’

22 February 2016

‘This is why you should take a girl swimming on the first date!’ proclaims a widely circulated meme, featuring a girl in make-up, and the same girl with severe acne beside it. There are so many things wrong with this meme, and I’m not the type to denounce ‘edgy’ humour. However, this attitude is so representative of the expectations for women, there is something more sinister at hand.

Pictured: ‘Before’ and ‘After’ my metaphorical swimming session in the murky waters of sexist bullshit.

Entitlement to perfection is in part perpetuated by social media and the new concept of the ‘curated’ life, partly due to pornography. Again, I don’t want to be 'just another feminist denouncing pornography for every ill in the world that is related to gender inequiality', but I do believe that the idea of (specifically women) being head to toe groomed, 24/7, stems largely from this form of media.

Any man who thinks ‘swimming’ should be a requirement must automatically be ruling out the possibility of their ‘girl’ ever staying over, being hungover, being lazy, Netflix days, days where you go for long walks in the rain & days where make-up is not even a consideration. 

Let’s face it – unless you want true intimacy, true comfort and true relaxation, you are simply looking for a girl in the club who will look great hanging off your arm, in front of ‘the lads’ and you are obviously a lonely, hardened soul whose capability for love has been destroyed by your own absurd belief that the amount of notches on your bedpost are directly proportional to your goodness & superiority as a male human being.

So how do we conclude this? There’s a much-repeated internet saying that circulates from time to time that goes a little like this:

‘I’m not sure why I’m being blamed for lying to someone who is dumb enough to think that I actually have gold eyelids.’

I think that pretty much says it all, don't you?